Sunday, October 21, 2007
Few questions was jz stuck in my mind...Mayb I should not ask all this...Mayb I should not even think for this...but,that's what in my mind right now.
As I am pulling myself out of my prob...the only word to describe is "NOT EASY".I scare...I don't wanna backward...but forward...this sound easy...but its totally hard when I need to put this in action.My foundation is just not that strong.I build my wrong foundation before this.Now I hav to start all over again.
Recently,God let me see clearly in many area of my life..specially those hurts in me that hurts me for so long..and I see how God took it away step by step...one by one.I am glad that there are always people around me that willing to help me.They dint give up on me eventhou I myself gave up.I had been hurt deeply in many areas...all this just break me down.I mean break down totally.I face a big prob in relationship with him,fam,ministry,church...but yet,God help me to step out from all this slowly.Cos He knws what's the best for me.
My heart was feeling deep hurt before this.I was almost wanna give up in everything.Specially in God.Seems like no one understand me at all.Even myself neither.But,dont ever dare to test God...cos He is in control for everything.Mmm...I still remember few weeks ago,during service,I jz told God that,if no miracle happen to my life today...I will never come to church again.And I forget bout that.And God use someone unexpected to spoke deep to me.I never knw that God can work in this way.
God can only work in me when I choose to let go of my self-centerness and obey Him totally.God can't work in me when I choose to trust Him half only.God can only set me free when I choose to let Him take control in my life.
Well,what pastor shared today touched my heart.I never knw that my pastors & leaders are so good to me cos they willing to teach me and raise me up in the right way.My tears drop when i heard this song.In my mind was those leaders that raise me up.Those that raise me up when I was young in christ...and also those in my life now.I can only say thank you.Here's the lyric:
"You Raise Me Up"
When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.
Just now after service...had lunch with 5 of the SIP student which came from phil.It was a great fellowship time.Eventhou I can hardly hear what they said...cos I dont understand what they are talking bout.But...I tried my best...just get the points and it will be fine.Rest a while in jo's hse then bring "peanut" to Doulos.Hey,"peanut" is one of the SIP student i knw few days ago.She is so friendly.I love her so much.I jz only back at around 6pm...and it's tired.Rest a while then bring mum and sis out again.Anyway,thank God for today.A blessed day.weeee!!!
Currently having seriously soar throat.Help !!
That's all for today.Chao ~
