Tuesday, February 19, 2008
My priority is no longer in it...guess this is one of my reason why I can easily find a reason not to join.Well,maybe I am wrong,but that's me !
I guess I will need a really long period of time to heal the deep hurt in me.It's not easy,but I knw He is with me.
I really wonder,why most of the time,when I wanna draw a step closer to Him,there must be something trying to stop/hinder me.Sometimes,I overcome it.Sometimes I just fall.
Was so sick since sunday.I still remember that my whole body was shaking after sunday service,it's cold...somemore,I sick.Last night was the worst,flu+fever+cough+headache+cool....I din't turn on my fan,wearing my jacket...yet,still cold..my body was shaking.I get myself a towel with hot water just to calm down myself...but it seems like useless...haha...so,just went to bed early...and right now,still feeling so bad...ahhhh,pupau need to rest !
What happened on sun during service still deep in my mind.I lock and keep that vision deep in my mind...I dont wanna push it away anymore...eventhou it might be so far for me...but...it might be fulfil one day by Him.I still remember before this,some of them actually prophesy to me about this...well,maybe mean nothing to them,but for me,all this mean a lot.
I still wondering,when is the best time for me to touch instrument again...well,I am scare to touch it...but somehow,I knw this is my calling and this is what I love in my life.I wish someone could offer to have a short devotion time with me.It sound foolish...but,that's my heart desire...cos somehow,I really need someone to help me...ahh...no need to explain too much...If this is His will,there will be someone.All I need to do is just trust Him.
